Pearl: No such thing as a complete break these days

"70% of the respondents to this week's AusPharm poll told us they stay in touch with work at a minimum to deal with 'important' matters."

Thus without apologies a moderately geeky rundown on How To Do Remote Computing, known among nerds (and cool pharmacists) as a VPN = Virtual Private Network and once you've done it you'll wonder why you hadn't tried it.

Pearl: Roll out the puffer

There's something really handy about getting sick when you are a pharmacist.

Really?  

Yes, really - it gives us a chance to discover that our medications and advice work like the books say that they do. Plus it provides an opportunity to practise on ourselves the information that we give to our patients.

With my bad case of bronchitis (confirmed by X-rays) the prescribed amoxycillin together with the pred was working hard.  Most help however came from inhaling copious doses of metered dose bronchodilator. ('Nobody ever died from using too much, only from too little'). Sue, our young pharmacist, castigated me in the nicest way -  'but you know that you would get even more benefit from using a spacer.'

Pearl: How to save $1200 a year

Most of us run two wholesalers, to cope with the desperate 'Out-Of-Stock' situations with our main wholesaler. The service charge of $100 month irks, and is charged unless we spend $5000...which eats up any profits from the sales of the few service items we obtain to satisfy our customers.

A smart colleague pointed out a way that most of us can avoid the $100 charge.

Furthermore:  doesn't the CSO [Community Service Order] forbid this charge?  A billion dollars to the wholesalers each year is meant to cover occasional supply, one would think.

Pearl: Oral Rehydration Therapy tastes lovely

We all know the benefits of Gastrolyte etc. and can tell when somebody needs it.

'You feel like a rag doll -- how would you like to be dancing by tonight?'

'You don't believe it -- but you will.'

Having decided that one of the drinks for treating diarrhoea / vomiting is appropriate, here is a tip to be added to what you already say; 'And don't top it up with any other drinks; that mucks up the balance.' (Usually you have to say it three times in three different ways -- until you see that they 'get it.')

This further tip de-fuses the problem of it tasting like they are drinking sea water.

Pearl: DD Registers

De-fragging the files on a hard disk isn't difficult, and gives a kind of feel-good thing.

A Controlled Drug (aka Drugs of Addiction or Dangerous Drugs) register gets fragmented in an annoying way, especially as it becomes close to being full. Most of us first go to the index page at the front of the book, and chase down the actual page of e.g Endone, which have become scattered all over the book.

Sometimes that index is actually up to date.

Pearl: TWO drops in one eye?

Rx Chloramphenicol eye drops.
Sig: 2 drops in the eye every 2 hours today, then reduce as directed.

Q) What is wrong with this prescription?

A) Two into one doesn't go.

We all know that the eye only holds one drop. The second overflows and is un-necessary.  So here is the magic phrase that explains things and always makes them smile...

Pearl: Plenty Powerful Pink Pills

Answer this paradox:

Most of us deride homeopathy as being without effect. Most of us also believe in the placebo effect.

Hmmm? 10 seconds to answer^#.

Longtime customer Charlie was off to do his driving test, anxious as. 'Can you give me something?'

Nowadays doctors might prescribe a beta blocker, which cuts the 'jitters' without clouding perception but Charlie was in a hurry to his appointment.

Sure: I created a label 'The Pink Tablets: Take ONE, or TWO maximum dose for nerves' and packed them into a small tablet vial.

Ten dollars.

'Take one of these, they are really powerful -- and if you are still really really het up in half an hour's time, take the second one. But that's all you can have. They will take the edge off your anxiety without affecting your driving ability.'

What powerful medicine did I give Charlie, that didn't need a prescription?

You guessed right ...

Pearl: Poisoning Miss Dorothy

Last weekend I almost poisoned my friend,  Dorothy. It was her second close shave, as she already had one near-death experience -- death by chocolate.

Miss Dorothy is my girlfriend. She is short, with hair as black as half way up a chimney, and beautiful brown eyes that pierce my soul.  Dorothy lives with us, eats with us, shares our bedroom. My wife understands -- so that is alright.